Do you remember when we used to dance?

Unfortunately, we lost to those samba dancing Brazilians 3-2 today. Surprisingly, it was a really good match that sorta unfolded like I thought it would. Even though the samba dancers didn't come out as sluggish as I expected, they didn't exactly control the game either. We came out firing, scoring 2 goals in the first half and seriously trying our best to look like the best in the world. We controlled the run of play, frustrating Brazil's back 4 and midfield, causing them to commit senseless fouls at midfield and in the attacking third. However, they would finish the half strong with a couple shots on goal and came out ready to fight in the second half. Let me explain, they scored in the first 45 seconds of the second half. In the first fucking 45 seconds. You can't even get up and go to the bathroom and back in that time. Essentially, we were doomed from the start of the second half. It was like watching the Hindenburg in super-slow motion exploding on top of a building that it is imploding at the same time. The hope was agonizingly still there - like expecting the damn Hindenburg and imploding building to somehow un-explode and un-implode themselves. Thanks for nothing, hope. The constant shots on goal and the way that the Brazilians were getting them was too much for us as we conceded two more goals (and what should've been a third) on the way to our 3-2 loss. Man, I'm getting really tired of Brazil and all their glory. Besides soccer, what's so great about that country anyway? Yeah, nothing.

Touche, Brazil.

Since there's really nothing else I care to talk about in length, I'll move on to some quick hits...- My boys in blue, the Dodgers, have gone on something of a slump lately. They've lost a few games here and there, but it's okay because we still occupy the #1 position in the West and in the WORLD. And by world, I mean in Major League Baseball because of our league-leading record. Oh, and Manny comes back this week! Whoo!
- My other boys in blue, Chelsea, are embarking on their American tour next month with a stop at the Rose Bowl to play Inter Milan. Reminder: I have to get a ticket or I will be pissed at myself forever. The last time we had two world class teams play each other at the Rose Bowl? The 1994 World Cup. It's been a long time coming, damnit.
- College football can't come soon enough. It's so damn far away. One of these days, I'm gonna have to dedicate a post to the Big XII conference and then maybe the top 10 teams or so. Yeah, that sounds pretty good to me. I'll do that soon. Of course, first up will be my Baylor Bears.

Behold the glory of Baylor and forever be in awe of it's magnificent splendor. Heathen.

A couple random thoughts...- I enjoy eating with chop-sticks even when I'm not eating Japanese food. For some reason, we happen to have a lot of chop-sticks in my kitchen all the time. And for some reason, I go to grab and a fork and knife and say "Nahhh" like I'm in some bad day-time comedy on t.v. and then grab a pair of chop-sticks. I've always known how to use them, but some reason I just get really into it when I'm at home.
- I'm starting to read The Brothers Karamazov. What else is there to do right now? Oh, yeah, look for a job.

Reading this is like having a job.

Oh yeah, I totally lied. Title explanations will come at the end of my posts. Ha. Gotcha good. I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking "I bet you just forgot to add the explanation at the beginning so you're doing it now because you're too lazy to scroll up to the top." Well, you know what I say to that kind of accusation? Shut up.
Anyway, the title is from the song "Heat of the Moment" by Asia. Cartman sings this at Congress during a South Park episode. Classic.

68 days until opening day.

And I say "Oh, no sir, I must say you're wrong"...

So I realized that the titles to my posts mean nothing without me explaining them because they're usually not even relative to the post as a whole. So here is the explanation... they're lyrics to songs that I have heard recently or that I just like to listen to. For example, today's title comes from the song "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus. Why this song? Because the movie Silence of the Lambs was on today and this is the song that's playing when Buffalo Bill is doing his little gay trannie dance. Yeah. From now on, I'll start off every post with a brief explanation of what song it is and why.


Anway, I thought I'd do a brief preview of the Confederation Cup Final tomorrow between Brazil and the U.S. of A. Let's get this thing started...

Goalkeepers: Brazil has Julio Cesar in the net who is considered by to be the best in the world. Currently playing his club career at Inter Milan, he has distinguished himself by helping lead Inter to 4 straight Scudettos. Like all good keepers, he is tall and agile with a knack for keeping the ball out of the net. However, I question his ability when faced under constant pressure as seen by Egypt being able to hang 3 goals on him in the opening round match. However, he has played well since then, conceding no goals in the 3 matches since then.

The U.S. have Tim Howard in the net who is considered to be the 3rd/4th best goalie in the English Premier League (which can be translated to the top 10 in the world in my opinion). Currently playing for Everton, he set the record for clean sheets recorded by an Everton keeper this past season. Much like Cesar, he is tall and agile with cat-like reflexes. However, in the first two matches of the tournament, he conceded a total of 6 goals (albeit in two matches when the U.S. had a man sent off). He handled the pressure well against Spain, stopping a multitude of shots. Brazil will undoubtebly want to test him after his performance in the semi's, so it will be up to Howard to perform just as well.

Who has the advantage? I give it a push. While Cesar might seem like he has an edge, I believe that it's due to him not being tested since the opening match.

Let's see if you can pass this, bitch.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not even gonna waste my time breaking down the defender position, midfielder position, or forward position because let's face it, Brazil is simply better than us in every regard. Am I being a bit unfair in this assessment? No, because I'm simply spouting the poetry known as truth. Have a bite, it's a little bitter at first, but goes down sweet. Frankly, with names like Kaka, Luis Fabiano, Robinho, Dani Alves, Maicon, Juan, Gilberto Silva, and so on it would be useless to try and compare us to these world-class players. One thing we can have an upper-hand on is how much heart we play with. We can come out and control the game with our play (well, at least the first half or so). Regardless of our win over Spain, the Brazilians will no doubt underestimate our abilities and come out sluggish - bank on it. If we can manage to score early then I have no worries that our defense can perform just as admirably as they did against Spain. Well, let's at least hope so.

All of these guys have supermodel wives or girlfriends - even baldy. Damn. I wish I was Brazilian. And on the national team.

Well, alright, that ends my preview.


69 days until gameday.

Don't stop 'till you get enough...

So, the title of this post is a small tribute to Michael Jackson who passed away yesterday. I've always been a MJ fan and Don't Stop 'Till You Get Enough is by far my favorite song by him. Pop died yesterday, but I'm OK with that because I know his music will live on long after I'm gone. Although his legacy may come into question, I'm sure that his music will far outshine his personal life. Farrah Fawcett also passed away yesterday, but I feel that we were more prepared for her passing due to her well-documented struggle with cancer. I'm sure that still doesn't ease the pain for her family and friends, but at least her pain is over. What a sad day yesterday was.

On to what this blog is really about... Man, I should've just called this blog "Hit and Miss" because of all the wrong predictions I've made lately (not that it's all a bad thing). It's kind of embarrassing really, but oh well. The U.S. men's soccer team did beat Spain, unfortunately CJ wasn't drafted by anyone (however, I don't doubt someone will pick him up through free agency), and Lucas Glover did win the U.S. Open. Damn.

The U.S. win over Spain was pretty damn impressive. They came out of the proverbial gates firing, not missing a beat from their beat-down of Egypt a few days prior. Spain, much like Egypt, came out sluggish. However, unlike Egypt, they picked it up in the second half to barrage the Americans in what can only be compared to the Confederates bombing the shit out of Fort Sumter at the start of the Civil War. But, to continue with this dumb tangent, just like the Confederates the Spaniards eventually lost. The U.S. won 2-0 with goals scored by the 19 year-old Jozy Altidore in an impressively strong turn-around shot and with Clint Dempsey's hustle play coupled with the mistake of Spanish defender Sergio Ramos. Spain out-shot US 29-9 which, for some reason was completely over-blown by the media. Honestly, every soccer fan expected something like this because of Spain's attacking style of play and the fact that they simply outclassed us in terms of talent. However, we played inspired, smart, team defense which held the Spaniards scoreless for the first time in 3 years or so.

"Hey fellas, this soccer match is kinda dangerous, dontcha think?"

Was the victory over Spain the biggest in U.S. history? Nah. Will a victory in the finals over Brazil be the biggest? Mmm, quite possibly. Soccer "experts" are saying "no way" to the latter question, but I have to disagree. Quiz time - When was the last time that we made it to the final of an international tournament outside of the Western Hemisphere? If you answered never, then feel free to bake yourself a cookie and eat it because you are right on the money. Regardless of the fact that this isn't the World Cup, it is the tune-up to the World Cup. Although the field is only made up of 8 teams, the teams were crowned the best in their region through tournament play. And let's face it, any country would kill to be able to say that they beat Spain and Brazil to win an international tournament. Will we win? I'm not gonna answer this because I was wrong before. However, if we come out strong like we did against Spain and our defense plays smart once again, we will have a chance. I do think we need to hold onto the ball a little more, especially if we find ourselves in the lead. What would I like to see? I'd like to see us clog the middle of the box during attacks and force them to play the wings. Well, we'll see what happens on Sunday.

The Dodgers lost their first series in over a month to the Chicago White Sox. Eh, it had to happen sometime. We still have the best record in the league and Manny Ramirez is poised to come back soon after his suspension for steroid use is up. There's been a lot of talk about Manny playing in the Minor Leagues (with the Albuquerque Isotopes - more on the name later) and how he shouldn't be allowed to do this because of the fact that he's been suspended for steroid use blah blah blah. Seriously, who gives a crap. If the minor leagues don't care, then we shouldn't care. And let's face it, professional sports are a business. The minor leagues don't get that many fans anyway and Manny being on the team was sure to be a sell-out (which it has been). Let him go out there and warm-up for his return and be happy that a minor league team actually has something to trumpet other than free hot dogs for the first 100 fans. The Isotopes were named after the local team on The Simpsons, the Springfield Isotopes who threatened to move to Albuquerque in one episode.

Who says that cartoons don't mirror reality? Seriously, who says that because I don't know.

Some quick hits...- Congrats to Blake Griffin for being drafted #1 in the NBA Draft to the Los Angeles Clippers. Unfortunately, he'll be going to the Clippers who are equivalent to the state of South Dakota - a place where time seems to stand still that everyone forgot about. See ya in four years big guy when you get traded to a place that actually matters.
- Shaq was traded to the Cavs in the hopes that he will pair up with Lebron and create an unstoppable duo on their way to a championship. Well, I got news for ya Cleveland, that would've worked if Shaq was younger and still a force to be reckoned with, but he is merely a shade of his former self. If the Cavs think this will get them over the hump then they are seriously mistaken. They might get to the finals next year, but they still won't beat the Lakers (who will definitely be there... take that to the bank).
- Floyd Mayweather Jr.'s return to the the boxing world is back on in September against Juan Manuel Marquez. After a brief postponement due to an injury suffered in training, Mayweather's camp has deemed that he's good to go. Who will win? I don't know yet. But I hope Mayweather does, so it sets up a more legit shot against the pound for pound king, Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao.
- My all too early prediction for my Baylor Bears football team this season... 7-5 with a trip to the Alamo Bowl. We win our 4 non-conference games, including an upset of Wake Forest, and we beat Iowa State, Nebraska, and those Aggies from Collie Station. My way too optimistic pick? We win the Big 12 in a season labelled as "The Miracle on the Brazos 2". In case you don't know about the first one, here is a link... The Miracle on the Brazos.


One quick random thought...- I know I said that you should watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but I have another show that you must (see how important it is? That word is both italicized and in bold) watch. Arrested Development. A show that certainly doesn't get the credit it deserves even though it won multiple emmy's or whatever the award is for t.v. shows. Watch the first two episodes and I guaran-fucking-tee you that you will get hooked. Oh, and it will be easier to follow if you watch it chronologically since it's one long-running story. Here's a little teaser clip for you. G.O.B. and his suits.

If you don't find this show funny then you're either dead or you have no soul, in which case you must be a zombie or a vampire. Or both. A zombie-vampire. Disgusting.

70 days until kick-off.

What is and what should never be...

WOW. Wow. Wow. I'll say it again - wow. I can't believe that the U.S. is moving on to play in the Confederation Cup semi-finals. We beat Egypt 3-0 today to secure our spot, but what makes it even more crazy is that Brazil had to beat Italy 3-0 for us to get on by goal differential. The odds of that happening were astronomical. Seriously. A team like Italy does not lose to anyone 3-0 so that happening must have every Italian in the world on anti-depressants. I was gonna post yesterday about how disappointed I was in the U.S. team after our loss to Brazil. Strictly speaking, we played like crap. We didn't play with heart, our play was boring, and our defense left something to be desired. However, everything was the exact opposite against Egypt. Someone must have given some hell of a pre-game speech to fire those boys up and I'm damn glad they did. The Egyptians, knowing that they would advance if they didn't lose 3-0 looked shell-shocked after giving up two goals - after the third, they looked like they were gonna cry. Am I surprised about this whole outcome? Hell yes I am. Am I glad we knocked out the Italians? Hell yes. However, we play Spain next. Currently, Spain is not only #1 in the world, but they are riding a record-breaking win streak dating back to two years ago. After the U.S. getting to the semi's, it seems like all the stars are aligning for us to pull off this upset. Feel free to put me in the "non-believer" category because I highly doubt it will happen.

This is what happened the last time stars aligned.

So I'm still sun-burned from the Lakers victory parade, but it's well worth it because the parade was awesome. I was actually at the Coliseum (where the parade ended) with 97,000 other Lakers fans. The crazy thing was that everyone was wearing gold or purple, so it looked like a LSU home football game.

The best part of the parade. Not the cheerleaders you perv, I'm talking 'bout Tony Danza on the beer ad in the background.

On another basketball related note, Curtis Jerrells is set to workout for the Utah Jazz sometime this week. In case you don't know, CJ was our star point guard at Baylor University. He started for all four years he was there, set numerous records, and helped to lead back to NCAA Tournament for the first time in 20 years. All in all, he set the foundation for us to build upon. I don't think he'll be drafted by the Jazz, who have the 20th pick, but I do believe he'll be drafted in the second round. He's a solid player with a strong body who is good at going one on one, using his quickness to his advantage. However, I think he needs to work on his jumpshot in order to become more consistent - this might mean simplifying his release a little more because it's not that smooth; it's more like 2 part motion instead of 1 long one. Anyway, I hope his workout goes well and whichever team picks him up won't be disappointed.

"This new jersey is missing something... oh yeah, a place for my head."

Some quick hits...- The Dodgers took the series from Texas Rangers, the Oakland Athletics, and now the Anaheim Angels. Up next on our barn-storming tour of the American League, the Seattle Mariners.
- The U.S. Open for golf is gonna finish tomorrow because of rain delays which have pushed it back a day. Surprisingly, Tiger has not played well, even though the course was softened up after all the rain (making it softer which equals easier). He is currently seven shots back of surprise leaders Ricky Barnes and Lucas Glover. Phil Mickelson is 5 shots back. Who do I think will win? I have no idea, but I doubt that it'll be Barnes or Glover. For their sake, I hope I'm wrong.
- Rafael Nadal will not defend his title at Wimbledon due to injury, which is very disappointing considering the epic showdown he had with Roger Federer last year. Oh well, Federer will be the favorite this year since Nadal is out and will be looking to re-claim his spot as #1 in the world. For this reason alone, I don't want Federer to win. Screw that.
- On a somewhat related tennis note... who the hell is gonna be the next great American tennis star? Andy Roddick has been bust and I'm strictly speaking 'bout men, so we can cross out Serena and Venus (although I'm sure they could pass for men if they tried - BURN).

Some random thoughts...- Land of the Lost was hilarious. Will Ferrell did not disappoint and the movie moved well. The best part was undoubtedly Matt Lauer saying "Matt Lauer can suck it".
- The newly formed Women's Professional Soccer league is boring as hell. WPS should stand for Women Playing Shitty or something... like that...
- Megan Fox just announced that she's single. She also said that she's "very nervous" about it and "afraid". Well, Megan, if you happen to be reading this I will come out and say that I am more than happy to help ease you back into a relationship... with me. ZING!

Aww, look at how nervous and afraid she is. Adorable. And hot.

75 days until we beat down Wake Forest. You weren't expecting such an aggressive tone, were ya?

Tonight's the night...

#15 bitcheses. The Lakers defeated the Magic in 5 games this past Sunday in true championship fashion, 99-86. The victory parade is tomorrow and will run from the Staples Center to the Coliseum. You better believe I'll be there. My friends and I are gonna try to get there early, we'll see how that works out. News out of L.A. was that the city wasn't gonna foot the bill because of the economy and wanting to pay workers instead... blah blah blah bullshit. Well, the Lakers decided to pay half of the expected 2.1 million dollar cost and donors chipped in for the other half. So the city doesn't have to spend a dime and we still get our parade... whoo!

You can see my house at the top right near the mountain. Look harder. It's there.

So now that we have 15 championships it's definitely time to look ahead to our next two. Preferably, we'll get numbers 16 and 17 in the next two years and tie the Celtics for most all-time. Hopefully, we also beat the Celtics for the titles because that would be the greatest feeling ever. I would love for us to beat the crap out of those boston-clam chowder eating bostonians to tie them. But hey, who knows what'll happen in the next few months with free agency happening and Phil Jackson debating whether to fulfill his last year on his contract or not.

In football, Brett Favre confirmed that he's considering returning with the Vikings in an interview with Joe Buck. I used to like Brett, I really did. I thought that he was great and what he had done and continued to do was amazing. However, his constant threats about retiring and then returning to the game have really put a dent in my perception of him. He toyed around with the Packers last season and signed with the Jets and then retired in a tearful goodbye (which he had done the season before). Now he wants to come back to the Vikings in a story that seems more like a soap opera than a tale worthy for the NFL Hall of Fame. He's become a diva on par with Paris Hilton - a celebrity who'll do anything for attention regardless of the hit to their legacy.

Tears? Oh, I just got some... dirt in my eyes.

In golf, the U.S. Open begins this week. One of the four majors and the hardest out of all them, this years Open promises to be another special one. Tiger is once again the favorite which is amazing considering that just a year ago he had knee surgery because the torque he produced with his swing had essentially destroyed his leg. Crazy. Oh, he's also the defending champion. Oh yeah, the last time the Open was played at this years host course (Bethpage Black in NY) in 2002, Tiger won. However, his arch-rival and #2 golfer in the world (behind Tiger of course), Phil Mickelson will also be playing. Once known for never winning a major and always a crowd favorite, Phil has won three majors since '02 and will again come into the Open as the OVERWHELMING crowd favorite due to the fact that he almost gave up this season in order to spend time with his wife, who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Fortunately, they caught the cancer in its early stage. Phil's been quoted as saying that he's always wanted to win the Open (who wouldn't? It's only America's championship and has an un-rivaled history) and has come in 2nd on multiple occasions. It should be a riveting weekend.

A walk in the park? No. More like the TOUGHEST COURSE IN THE WORLD.

Some quick hits... - Kentucky guard and top-scorer Jodie Meeks has decided to stay in the NBA draft instead of returning to school. With big-man Patrick Patterson returning to school to play for another year, I thought that this team was a sure-fire Final Four pick with the that tandem. However, Kentucky has some damn good recruits coming in who should help fill the void that Meeks is leaving.
- Italy defeated us, the U.S.A., 3-1 at the Confederations Cup in South Africa. The tournament is a tune-up for the World Cup next year. While the score looks horrible, I thought that we actually played really well considering that we were a man down for 53 minutes. In fact, we were up 1-0 until the Italians managed to exploit the fact that they had an extra man and scored 3 unanswered goals. 2 of those goals happened due to questionable defending, so hopefully that'll be fixed. Next up for us are the Brazilians on Thursday.
- Lache Seastrunk, the #1 running back in the nation from Temple, TX has Baylor at the top of his list. Wow. I would be speechless if we managed to land him.

- So I went to my friend Annie's graduation on Sunday. It started at 8AM. I had to wake up at 6 in order to get ready for it and get there on time with my friend Randy. It was outside, which was nice except for the fact that the sun was in the crowd's face the whole time. They also had some student speaker who started off his speech with "How are you feeling CLASS OF '09?!?!" which felt pretty high school-ish. Overall, it was a nice graduation and a fun time (although this can also be attributed to the fact that Randy and I began drinking immediately afterwards while waiting to be seated for brunch).
- I've been running lately. It's a pretty good workout. Well, I haven't really been running. It's not like I'm running 2 miles a day or something. I haven't gotten to that point yet. I run 800 meters and then walk. And then run 800 meters again. I'll slowly build that up over the summer.
- I love the show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I've spent the past few days watching every episode and have come to the conclusion that I want to live that life. Sorta. I want my bar to at least be successful. If you have a chance, go watch an episode on Hulu and tell me what I already know: how great it is.
- Remember in my last post how I was saying that I was annoyed by that Ketel One ad? Well, GUESS WHAT! I'm not the only one who hates Ketel One ads. Check these out...

This one is just a little dirty...

Confrontational.

Subtle.

And my personal favortie...

80 days until the Wake Forest game.

Wagon Wheel

So first and foremost I wanna thank Jackie for changing her background from that awful pink to a more sensible color. I love you Jackie, but that was a horrible three days or so for your blog.

UGH. AWFUL.

Anyway... so soccer (or should I say futbol) giants Real Madrid have gone on a mad spending spree this past week. Ever since they re-elected Florentino Perez as president they've gone ahead and green-lighted the spending of... 223 MILLION DOLLARS. What makes it even more staggering is that the 223 million was for TWO players. You can buy a whole team for that much money! By the way, in case you must know, they spent 92 million for the Brazilian mid-fielder and 2007 FIFA World Player of the Year Kaka and 131 million for the Portuguese Mid/Center-Fielder 2008 FIFA World Player of the Year Cristiano Ronaldo which are both records in the outrageous spending category.
What makes this is even more mind-boggling and jaw-dropping is that neither player will see a dollar of that 92 and 131 million, respectively. "Why?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you why. Instead of a team buying a player's contract like teams do here in the U.S. of A., teams in Europe buy the RIGHT to NEGOTIATE a new contract with the player. So, to put everything in perspective: Real Madrid gave AC Milan 92 million dollars to be able to negotiate with Kaka and gave Manchester United 131 million dollars to be able to negotiate with Ronaldo. This means that they have yet to even come up with a contract for either player! So, let's say each player gets a 5 year contract worth 10 million a year (just a pure guess on my part) - that pretty much means that Real Madrid have committed to spending an extra 100 million at the same that they parted with 223 million! If you aren't saying "HOLY SHIT!" to yourself right now, then you either have no concept of money or you're Florentino Perez.

Recession? What's that?

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not against this wanton spending spree. Hell, if you wanna be the best then you have to get the best, no matter the cost. Hopefully this means that Madrid will re-claim the top spot in Spanish futbol over those turd-eating bastards, Barcelona. Am I still bitter over Barca knocking out Chelsea in the Champions League? Yes. Very much so. The Lakers are currently up 3 games to 1 on the Orlando Magic in the NBA Finals. Hell yeah. We've gone to two overtime games and won both of them. We are so ready for title #15 it's not even funny. I just hope we close it out in Orlando on Sunday instead of having to come back to LA to finish it. Would I like to win it in LA? Sure. But would I love for us to celebrate on our opponent's homecourt while their fans exit the arena with tears in their eyes? YES.

Mmmm, your tears taste like VICTORY.

Some quick hits... - The Penguins just beat the Red Wings for the Stanley Cup in 7 games. I don't really care, but I'm glad my pick won.
- I went to a Dodgers game a couple days ago. We lost to the San Diego Padres 3-1, but it was fun. My new favorite area to sit is now the all-you-can-eat pavillion. Not because you can eat all the hot dogs, peanuts, and nachos you want (which is definitely a bonus) for 25 dollars (the cost of a ticket), but because that means all of my money that would otherwise be going to two $6 hot dogs, $4 peanuts, $4 nachos, and whatever else is now strictly going to beer. What more could you ask for on a cool summer day?
- World Cup 2010 qualifying is ending soon. In fact, the Netherlands were the first country to punch their tickets to South Africa for next year. The usual suspects seem to be in good position to qualify, while a couple surprises might be in store for us. North Korea is on track to qualify (who the hell knew that they play soccer there), Egypt is leading all African nations for qualification, and Argentina is looking more and more like they're trying not to qualify.

On a few non-sports related topics... - I saw The Hangover. Pretty funny. However, for some reason, I was expecting something more... ... ... exciting. Once they figured out why they couldn't remember anything, I became bored. I just sat there thinking "Oh, well that wasn't anything special"... less than half-way through the movie.
- A good friend of mine graduates from UC-Riverside on Sunday at 8AM. That is way too early.
- This commercial annoys me. It starts off with "Some men know how to end the night properly..." That is not ending the night properly. Everyone and their mom knows that ending the night properly means going home with one of those ladies. Seriously, does it even take three guys to wave down a taxi? No. The proper thing would be to draw straws and send one out there while you and the other guy hit on the two ladies in the doorway. Watch the guy in the middle. He doesn't even make an effort to hail a taxi! He just stands there doing nothing. I understand the whole gentleman-ly thing and what-not, but the commercial should've started off with "Some men know that drinking Ketel One will mean you're stuck with your bros for the night".

In Mother Russia, Ketel One hits on you!

84 days until that first Saturday against Wake Forest.

4,3,2,1...

BACK TO POSTING! AWESOME BABY! /Dick Vitale voice

So it's been a damn long time since I last posted. I was pretty busy making sure that I graduated from Baylor and partying pretty hard. I'll be sure to update more often from now on. Everything in my last post pretty much didn't happen. Jason Smith went #2 to the Rams (no shame there), not #1 to Detroit and we didn't win the NIT tournament (lost to Penn State in the final game). Oh well. It happens. This past April I was fortunate enough to attend The Masters which was the GREATEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. I already know that it already surpassed my sometime-in-the-future wedding (sorry Megan Fox) and the birth of my future first-born (sorry Lee or Savannah).

Tell me this isn't beautiful. If you do, I will slap you. Liar.

I was the guest of a member (no need to name names) and was there on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 8:30AM to 6:30PM everyday (with the exception of Sunday when we were there from 8AM to 8PM). I ate and schmoozed with members, rubbed elbows with celebrities, smelled the flowers, flirted with the beauties, and so much more. Oh yeah, I watched some damn good golf, too (3-way sudden death playoff with Angel "El Pato" Cabrera winning).

ES TU PAPA????

On to more recent matters, my boys the Lakers are in the NBA Finals for the second straight year (we are currently beating the Magic by 26). I would be more excited, but as a Lakers fan you are obligated to expect a Finals appearance every year. Now, the excitement will come when we win. I'll be the first guy out there for the parade with a massive headache from binge-drinking and with my Day-Glo's on.

I see you bitcheses.

Some quick hits... - Even though we didn't win the English Premier League or the Champions League, my boys Chelsea beat Everton 2-1 for the F.A. Cup the other day sending off manager Guus (Gus? Goose? Hoose? I don't know) Hiddink on a high note.
- Manny Ramirez was caught for steroid use, but my boys the Dodgers are still playing at a high level with a 37-18 record, good for tops in the league. Since Manny was caught, the Trolley-Dodgers are 16-10 as opposed to 21-8 with him.
- Randy Johnson won his 300th game. Good job, old man. People have been saying that we'll never see a 300 game winner again due to the fact that pitchers don't pitch as often and don't pitch nearly as long (barely going over 6-7 innings per outing). I don't know, I sure hope that isn't the case.
- The Penguins and the Red Wings are once again duking it out for the Stanley Cup in hockey. I could care less for hockey, but I want the Penguins to win because let's face it, how can you not cheer for animals that wear a tux and look like they want to party?

1st Penguin: I'll have a vodka martini, shaken, 3 olives.
2nd Penguin: I'll have... a bucket of fish.

Well anyway, I promise I'll update soon.


93 days until that first Saturday against Wake Forest for Baylor football.